renew me day by day~

LOL.

2011-04-19T04:16:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, things just turn out funny. They turn out the way you least expect it to. What more can you do in those situations than LOL. There is no other word/acronym/whatever-you-want-to-call-it that can describe that emotion. The ambiguity of "LOL" is so great that the true meaning gets confuddled whilst saying/typing the word. The hilarity of the situation, the sarcasm, the shock, the failure or success of expectations.

Positive? negative? Somewhere in between? Who really knows? When you don't know how to feel, or even what you're feeling, default "LOL".

For example: Exams? LOL. Boys? LOL. Work? LOL. Expectations? LOL.

See it works? doesn't it?

LOL.

We will not fear.

2011-03-14T00:59:00.003-04:00

In the midst of all that has happened this past week, it's hard to imagine why. All that pain and suffering in this world. Why is it happening? Where is God in all of this?

It's almost like a never-ending nightmare in Japan. First the tsunami and then the earthquake. If that wasn't enough, the nuclear plants are now over heating and there may be another horrific Chernobyl-like event coming soon. On top of that, the tectonic plates are moving so much, dormant volcanoes are becoming active. I'm pretty sure this may not be the end of it. If Japan can be affected so much, in the coming weeks, I wouldn't be surprised if other places will become victim to abnormal tectonic plate activity.

I'm praying that all of this will end soon. I'm praying that this event will bring nations closer together as other tragic events have. I'm praying that our nations will come as one and help those in need.

I was reminded of a verse today: Psalm 46:1-3

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

We will not fear, for God is our refuge and strength. I pray that God will give the people of Japan strength and look to him for refuge.

Unplugged

2011-03-06T01:00:00.000-05:00

I guess it's a bit too late now, but yesterday was the National Day of Unplugging. Not saying that it's not a good idea, but can you call it a 'National day', if no one really knows about it? Did anyone know about it?! Maybe it was just me and I'm just sitting in the dark twiddling my thumbs on my blackberry in the dim seclusive glow of the screen. Nonetheless, the world is probably "plugged in" a little too much and a little too often. It wouldn't hurt to spend some good ol' quality time with friends (live action!) or even alone with a good book once in a while.

I think I could probably unplug for a day if I chose to, or I could be just lying to myself, who knows. Until I need to, or when the 'National Day of Unplugging' really becomes a national day people know about, I'm happy holding to my dear blackberry all day long :)

happy valley-ing my cares away

2011-02-20T13:03:00.005-05:00

Nothing better than the cold wind whipping around you as you ski down a green circle hill at Blue Mountain. I find that in life, sometimes people are searching for a constant thrill, to consistently increase the adrenaline rush with each succeeding activity. While being complacent and plateauing is not desirable, why do people need to live for the extremes? Sure, we need something to pick us up every now and then, but why can't happiness, just be that, just happiness. Sometimes exciting, sometimes calming, random surprises here and there, never boring. But that's just me.

For some people, racing down double diamonds, searching for bigger and better hills is what they love. For me, Happy Valley is the place for me. They really did name that hill well. You can rush straight down and feel the adrenaline, or you could slowly go down, twisting and turning, or you could just go down at a relaxing pace, enjoying the scenery and watching people woosh by. You can choose to take the long turn around, or speed down that steep hill instead.

The fun part of the hill sometimes is all the people around. It's a nice reminder that in life, some people speed by, entering your life at a fast pace, but leaving it as well. Some people go slowly down, taking their time, maybe making a couple mistakes and falling here and there. You can choose to help them, to wait for them and follow them down the hill, to be that friend who sticks with them through everything, even if it's hurting them or sometimes making the hard decision to leave them behind. Then there are those who keep pace with you. Sometimes you might go faster, sometimes they may go faster. But no matter what they're with you till the end.

No matter how fast or how slow you go, no matter how many times you'll fall down, you always know that you'll make it to the end of the hill, because it's Happy Valley, and everyone makes it down there.

return to the interwebs.

2011-02-08T01:17:00.002-05:00

I've been out of the loop lately. Although facebook stalking is a daily activity, blogging, tweeting, even stalking other blogs have not been in my daily routine; I haven't even been on MSN. For those who know me well, that is quite a change. I couldn't say that school has been taking up much of my time, but living at school, for some reason, decreases the incidences of being alone and in an insightful mood. These outlets allow the narcissistic side of my nature to thrive, thus decreasing my need to express the same thoughts to an innocent bystander, not know what they got themselves into when they asked how my day was. What better way to relieve randomness than out into the world wide web.

And so, as the new year begins (as per the lunar calendar), my goal is to get back into the interwebs.

Hopefully I'll be updating my blog a little more. I also got a tumblr page for funsies. Those will probably be where my random posts and finds will be, making this a site for actual blogging and longer thoughts if required. I wouldn't want to kill this site just yet, seeing as I already have a handful of retired blogs around already.

On top of my random tumblr page, I've made another one for a more productive use. I was thinking about all the food blogs, travel blogs, fashion blogs...etc out there, and I was trying to devise a new and uniquely themed blog. Some people have random quotes, some people have random definitions, and now, I have random facts... about feet. :D

Yes, I really did make that. I figured, why not put my knowledge to good use. To share it with the world somehow. I've also found a good study tool. Whenever I learn a new fact that sticks out to me, I can post it and always return to it at a later time. Win-win. Also, what better way for the general public to learn about the feet than a fact or two a day. Just a glance, and you'll find out something new or something interesting. I'm not expecting a lot of visitors to the site, but if anything, it'll be fun to have it just there, if only for my own reference.

That is plan for my return to the interwebs. Hopefully, I can keep up with it. Although I don't know how often the blogging part will keep up, but twitter, tumblr and my foot facts I definitely will. So I guess I'll see you guys around!

it's my year.

2011-02-05T23:12:00.000-05:00

According to the Chinese calendar, 2011 is my year, that is, the year of the rabbit

It's my year to shine, my year to make a difference, my year to be different, my year to be better. Although it probably should be a continuous journey throughout my entire, what better time to decide than now, the beginning of MY year.

So let me tell you what's going to happen this year.

This year I will:

[ ]focus on God more, focus on myself less

[ ]procrastinate less (I'd say "no procrastination" but who are we kidding here)

[ ]drink at least 4 cups of water a day

[ ]go to the gym at least twice a week

[ ]eat at least 1 fruit a day

[ ]learn to play squash well

[ ]sleep earlier

[ ]have more patience with people

[ ]be more diligent in posting on the interwebs

[ ]not forget to pray for someone when I tell them I'll pray for them

[ ]be diligent with devos

[ ]keep up with people who matter in my life

[ ]learn a new foot fact each day

Hear, hear. *glass clinking* To a better me.

my little elephant

2011-02-05T22:43:00.000-05:00

love. joy.

hmm...

2011-01-29T12:14:00.001-05:00

I feel like I should post something.

Even though you know where you're going, life starts to get just a little bit scarier when you know you're almost there.

Victoria's (not-so) Secret Dating tips for Boys

2009-09-06T18:30:00.001-04:00

I thought I'd share my infinite wisdom with you all (lol). Hopefully it'll help you boys out there steer away from some major errors on the field and help all those poor innocent girls out there dealing with boys trying really hard to become men.

[repost from Twitter] + extra comments (due to Twitter character limit)

dating tip #1 for boys: never seem too desperate (i.e. message her every morning)

- It's very unbecoming of a man, plus she's bound get tired of you, especially if your conversations are bland. Let her message you first sometimes.

dating tip #2 for boys: never continuously pry about who she's out with (i.e. "who's the boy??" "hot date?!" "who is he?!!?")

- Jealousy, clingy-ness, insecurity are three qualities that girls frown upon when looking for a significant other. If you're like this BEFORE you date, I can't imagine how'd you be AFTER. If she's out with a friend, she's out with a friend, leave it.

dating tip #3 for boys: don't start using terms of endearment within a month of talking to her (i.e. "silly", "sleepyhead", "piggy")

- It's just too fast. If you start doing that, she'll just run in the other direction. All you're doing is causing shivers to continuously travel down her spine. Non-mushy nicknames are fine though.

dating tip #4 for boys: never use the line "hehe, you're so silly :P" it makes you sound like a girl, and it's totally uncool.

- *shivers* Boy flirting fail 101.

dating tip #5 for boys: Never use your mom as an excuse to give the girl anything (i.e. flowers)

- Lame. Plus, if you haven't talked to her for long, she won't know how to take it and freak out. Flowers always mean something, especially when randomly given and not during a special occasion. Birthday and graduation flowers are acceptable.

dating tip #6 for boys: don't tell sob stories and try to get pity points on your first date.

- It's your first date, she probably doesn't care much about you yet, and sob stories are definitely not going to help your case. Makes you sound like you're looking for some lovin' that you're probably not going to get.

dating tip #7 for boys: yes, we live in the 21st century and you may be in gov't debt, but it doesn't hurt to pay for a couple meals.

- Chivalry is not dead, and your wallet is not empty.

dating tip #8 for boys: on a first date at a meal, don't sit next to her, lawyers do that to make the witness uncomfortable.

- That's what boyfriends do. Are you her boyfriend? No, didn't think so.

dating tip #9 for boys: never overstay your welcome, you want her to want you right?

- If she looks at the time a lot, she wants to go. Let her go, unless she says otherwise. If she stutters when she says she doesn't need to go, she wants to go.

dating tip #10 for boys: never boost yourself up by pushing people down. Very uncool.

- Sure you talk to the mail room and janitorial staff, that's very kind of you, but not so much when you describe it as "understanding the importance of the people at the bottom who need to put food on the table"

dating tip #11 for boys: Don't try to make yourself sound "mature" when you really aren't. (ie don't make living on your own sounds so tough)

- "oh, you know, I have to clean the house, do laundry, and cook, I have so little time for anything else!" Two letters for you, BS. What about the rest of the people who live alone and have a life?

dating tip #12 for boys: Never say "hehe you're so silly :P" Yes, it was DT#4, but it srsly has to be re-iterated. Major turn-off.

- It's like you have nothing better to say, she probably just told a joke, do you have so little imagination that you can't properly respond to her?

dating tip #13 for boys: don't try to get a girl to talk to you by telling her you're running away from home/pseudo-suicidal. Pretty pathetic.

- It does work for the next hour because she is a nice girl, but you just ruined your chance forever. Unfortunately, no girl really wants to date a run-away or a guy with extremely low self-esteem.

dating tip #14 for boys: Don't tell the girl that you think your parents don't love you on your first date (DT#6) Not gonna make her love you!

- Really, what did you think that was going to achieve? Trying to make her feel bad knowing her parents love her?

dating tip #15 for boys: Don't continuously playfully comment/ make fun of her traits/mannerisms. It gets tiring after 20 times.

- This one is simple. We all know you get tired when a girl continuously makes the same remarks about your traits/mannerisms, so why do it to her?

dating tip #16 for boys: Don't put down her lifestyle because you think yours is better - "I like to be independent, I'd never use my daddy's money"

- Well I'm sorry your daddy doesn't love you enough to give you money (SNAP j/k... but careful, that leads to DT #6 and #14). She'll admire your independence, and then frown at your ignorance.

dating tip #17 for boys: Never say "hehe you're so silly :P". Yes, it's that important.

- We'll let you slip once or twice, but anything more... ... If you say it as a joke it's fine, but if you mean it seriously and continuously say it, we have a problem.

dating tip #18 for boys: Yes, she did compliment you, but it probably didn't mean as much you thought it did. Don't make her feel awkward for saying it.

- "It means a lot coming from you", unless it was some kind of heartfelt compliment, try to avoid that. She only told you she's impressed by some of your skills, just smile and say thanks, she most likely didn't mean anything more.

dating tip #n for boys:.... I'll try to add more as I think of them, if you have any other tips, comment! and I'll include them in my list.

Hope you all enjoyed my tips and I hope you boys put them into use, and stop scaring away the innocent. lol. These were all things you should never do, but maybe I'll make a list of the positive things to do one day.

If you keep with these, you should be better off, however I'm sure guys can come up with even more unthinkables that can ruin their relationships. Oh boys, you're so silly, hehe :P.

original posted: aug 28, 2009

______

edit://

dating tip #19 for boys: don't ask obvious questions like "where's your boyfriend?" to try and find out if she's single. That's just a game killer, unless she does.

- Congratulations, you just created your own awkward moment. When you make it so obvious, you lose your game, especially if it's early on in your game. In a conversation, that question will probably never come up naturally, so are you really that desperate? Be friendly, not wanna-be-boyfriendly.

dating tip #20 for boys: you probably shouldn't steal your date's car of your first date. Maybe the second? LOL.

- link it! poor girl haha

dating tip #21 for boys: don't be late for a movie and become immature because she didn't stand up in the middle of the theatre in the middle of the movie.

- If you're not watching the movie with just her, don't expect her to wait outside for you, especially if the movie started 30 minutes ago. If she tells you what row she's in, man up and COUNT, 1, 2, 3, 4.

dating tip #22 for boys: if the girl cannot take spicy food, don't take her to a restaurant and order the spicy dish on the menu. LOL

- tip for girl, tell the guy you can't take it, and don't order the spicy menu item the next time you go out! That becomes your fault. haha.

dating tip #23 for boys: the silent treatment is so passé.

- Err, did you expect to impress her with that on your second date? All girls want petty guys right? No.

dating tip #24 for boys: definitely don't leave retarded voicemails.

- Really? I never realized that such egotistical jack***es actually existed. The reason some girls stay single. LOL

So why aren't we?

2009-08-29T23:52:00.005-04:00

If this is really true, the biggest question is "Why aren't we doing this now?!"

John amuses me.

2009-08-27T15:25:00.000-04:00

You know, John, the head of game development on armorgames.com.

My two new favourite flash games:

1. This is the Only Level

2. Achievment Unlocked

P.S. Have I ever told you how much I love elephants too?

new links on the side bar...

2009-06-14T23:41:00.003-04:00

...for easier stalkage, at least on my part :) It really takes too long to link from one to another, so why not just put them all on my page. Feel privileged kiddies :D

it's been awhile...

2009-05-12T00:17:00.002-04:00

... since I've updated.

I swear I was going to always update my dream blog, but then as I recorded them, sometimes, it would inappropriate to post for the public, or too embarrassing for either myself or the innocent victims who show up in my dreams.

It's May now, and usually at the end of every school year, I have a memories post, of the good, the bad, and the ugly. But I feel like it hasn't hit me yet. It hasn't hit me that I'm done undergrad and that I technically should be giving back to society right about now. Unfortunately, being jobless and probably heading back to school in September, it's kind of hard.

But don't worry, I'll post sometime soon; something deep and reminiscent... maybe.

secret agents

2009-03-17T00:37:00.001-04:00

so I really don't know what the buzz is and I don't know how to fix it, so too bad.

But yes, this dream is a little shorter, but hope you enjoy it anyway!

ninja liver

2009-03-10T18:04:00.001-04:00

So I guess I somewhat started my "vlog" haha

it's a lot longer than I expected, but it's okay, for my own records right? And I'm pretty sure when people are bored they can watch the whole thing haha.

vlog?

2009-03-08T13:08:00.002-04:00

So I just set my webcam back up last night (like, my real webcam, not my crappy laptop one) and I don't know, maybe because of all the vlog's that I've been watching in bed during my sick week, but I feel like making a vlog as well. haha. Just because. I don't know what to talk about though, and my editing skills are weak.... we'll see.

I just felt like posting just because I haven't for awhile.

bases

2009-03-06T15:20:00.003-05:00

xkcd for everything. haha. FINALLY it's explained in writing.

history in the making

2009-01-23T00:09:00.002-05:00

Where were you when Obama was inaugurated?

endless christmas fun

2008-12-27T02:58:00.001-05:00

click here

more updates to come :)

but merry christmas everyone!

snow

2008-12-19T13:34:00.002-05:00

is intense.

You know it's intense when...

...you look out your window and you can't see your backyard.
...events get cancelled more than 12 hrs in advance.
...the stairs outside look like just a hill.
...you open the door and the snow falls into your house.
...you have no chance of getting out of your driveway, even with a 4WD.
...a lot people (more than normal) are online on your msn list.
...the snow outside your house came from a "snowstorm" in Las Vegas.

Oh snow. Another love-hate relationship haha.
Oh snow

breathe

2008-12-16T20:45:00.002-05:00

I can finally breathe.

I can finally breathe with no guilt.
I can finally watch shows with no guilt.
I can finally talk to people with no guilt.
I can finally relax with no guilt.
I can finally sleep with no guilt.
And it feels so good.

This exam session has got to the be the most intense and stressful study sessions of my life. I don't know if it's due to the lack of motivation, psychological stresses of plans of the future, my procrastination abilities, or just the lack of time, but seriously, I was running on adrenaline the whole entire time.

During the last week, I probably have had the least amount of sleep I've ever had in my life, and surprisingly I didn't bloat up like a blow up doll. Hah. No sleep, plus sensitivity to caffeine has definitely not been on my side. I'd be tired, drink a little coffee and my heart would race up to 90 something bpm and then I'd be awake, but too jittery to concentrate. But still it does keep me up. A very love-hate relationship with caffeine. So instead of drinking loads of coffee to stay up, power naps were my best friend. Study a couple lectures, sleep for 30min to 1 hr, study a couple more, nap some, and study some more. No real sleep for about 4 days. It's so brutal I really never want to do it again. Power naps in between studying really don't make up for lack of nighttime deep sleep. But works better than coffee!

But as always, studying for exams always means good company. Whether it be at GenLabs playing an intense game of Eternal Red (LOL), or streaming shows off of SideReel, googling ourselves in the library, or just nerding it up in the company of others, it's always so fun. For some strange reason, even though it's probably the busiest time of the year, it's the time where everyone gets closer and bonds moreso than other times.

And so, this was hopefully the last winter exams of my undergrad career, and I really hope I never have to sleep so little again. haha. I'm starting to feel old. but now, these are the final grades that will get me to grad school. We'll see what happens. All in the Big Guy's hand now.

are you serious??

2008-12-06T03:33:00.002-05:00

Minn. baby sitter admits using child in porn film

Fri Dec 5, 9:35 am ET

MINNEAPOLIS – A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to answering an online advertisement for baby-sitting work and then using the client's child to make a pornographic video.

In a plea deal with federal prosecutors, Aaron Jay Lemon admitted Wednesday to producing the video. The 23-year-old from Little Canada also admitted to coercing a minor to engage in sexually explicit conduct.

The plea agreement says Lemon filmed the child in St. Paul after seeking the baby-sitting job through Craigslist. St. Paul police say the victim was a 2-year-old girl.

The U.S. attorney's office says the case was part of a project that encourages agencies to investigate the sexual exploitation of children over the Internet.

The office says Lemon faces a maximum of 30 years in prison.

_________________________________________________________

seriously, what is wrong with people these days?! He exploited a TWO year old girl. and it wasn't even a moment of temptation kind of thing. He planned for it, he purposely put out an ad for it. Frigg. These things piss me off. Who gets off seeing a baby?! They represent the innocence in the world, they think and know no evil at all. Even though they know how to manipulate their own parents/care givers by age two, they're still BABIES. and now... this. Ughhh. Our world is so corrupt.

wanna be friends?

2008-12-05T10:56:00.005-05:00

oh boys. :)

update on my life

2008-12-03T23:49:00.003-05:00

So much has happened since the big snow day and I wouldn't even know when to start.

These past weeks, there have been so many up and downs, physically, mentally and emotionally I'm still spinning in circles.

Birthday fun, getting robbed, stressful assignments, Christmas potlucks, intense study sessions, lack of motivation, fashion show!, indifference... , grad school applications

ugh.. I can't wait for these two weeks to be over. It all ends on the 15th at 5pm.

and then ten days after that. It's Christmas! :) yay! can't wait!

side note: I'm watching an ad on tv about bra sizes. "AA" to "LL"?... how BIG is LL?! It's way past the double Ds.

my secret fashion show!

2008-12-03T23:35:00.002-05:00

So it's that time of year again, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show! As of this moment, pictures aren't up yet and the torrent's not up yet, but I had the urge to post about it anyway.

As of now, I've only watched the second half of the show since I came home late from ACF potluck. But let me tell you, the second half by itself was... AMAZING. I mean how can it not? I came home just in time to catch another awesome performance by Usher. I think that's what made a lot of the show so fun to watch, because of his songs. I can't believe he disappeared for so long. His dance moves, his general physical attractiveness. I love him haha.

My most favourite moment is of course of my favourite angel, Miranda Kerr and her breathtaking butterfly wings (don't worry, I'll post up pictures later). But to describe them, they were butterfly wings with little butterflys extending from every part of it. It was... spectacular :) and of course with her cute face... mmm. I just want to stare at her all day (in a non creepy way haha). Oh and her boyfriend too. (mmm. Orlie...)

And of course, Heidi Klum always completes the show. What an amazing woman she is. Whenever you see her, you just become happy. Her charisma and optimism just shines through her with every smile and every hand wave. She does so many things and she does them all looking so stunningly hot. Seal is a very lucky man.

From what I've seen so far, I must say this year was definitely better than last year in all aspects, artistically, musically and in beauty.

Mmmmm....

update to come.

why you shouldn't have casual sex.

2008-12-03T23:28:00.002-05:00

lol

so good :P

note: Not suitable for children.

the big snow

2008-11-20T10:10:00.003-05:00

I wish we could have a snow day.

Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-spock!

2008-11-19T00:10:00.002-05:00

This game was invented because it seems like when you know someone well enough, 75-80% of any Rock-Paper-Scissors games you play with that person end up in a tie. Well, here is a slight variation that reduces that probability.

Oh Big Bang Theory :P

mama kills animals

2008-11-18T16:32:00.003-05:00

Oh PETA, so much hate. Is this really necessary?

edit:// the sound got annoying, so click the link to play :)

21 - 'family' style

2008-11-15T11:00:00.000-05:00

The reason why I'm here in the first place:
I don't know if could even make it this far without their love and encouragement. This day is probably better described as our 21st birthday.

My second mommy... and Mike. haha. Love you both.

21 - 'lovers' style

2008-11-14T19:00:00.000-05:00

a night of girl talk and latin dancing. I love you girls :)

my dance partner russell!!

a cappella star wars

2008-11-12T18:23:00.000-05:00

friggin' amazing.

21 - anne style

2008-11-08T23:00:00.002-05:00

"in da cluub" @republik

dancing the night away with the ones i spent my childhood with.

happy birthday anne tong.

21 - 'the way' style

2008-11-08T13:00:00.001-05:00

ayce sushi @ yang's

heart people who came (even though all were LATE) and those who couldn't make it
heart kenyans (haha)
heart different sized soda cups
heart intense amounts of sushi
heart camera whoring
heart water balloon stories (HAHA)
heart the way
heart <3

it's summer!

2008-11-05T19:45:00.002-05:00

My birds are chirping, the sun is out, there's no snow and I'm walking around in a tshirt.

Seriously, what is up with the weather?!

P.S. Tomorrow begins weekend #1 :)

i heart snow!

2008-10-29T10:06:00.004-04:00

It's October 29, 2008 and the view outside my window is laden with snow. It's the first snow of the year (in London), and it's beautiful, for now. It's kind of paradoxial. The snow is covering the field but the leaves on some of the trees are still hanging. Fall hasn't ended yet, but winter seems to have already begun.

The snow sets in and everyone freaks out, only the find out it's a false alarm, and it's really not winter yet. All you're left with are the worries about the winter that's coming as you tromp through the muddy massive puddles of slush, mumbling profanity as you walk along the nasty sidewalk. Before winter really comes, everything looks dim, the nights get longer, the stress piles up. Everyone starts to dread the days of shovelling snow and all the traffic jams and congestion due to bad weather conditions.

However, when the snow really comes, when the year does come to an end, beautiful white fluff covers the trees, the rooftops, the fields, and everything is still. The view is specatacular and you forget why you ever dreaded winter in the first place. It's a pretty love/hate relationship don't you think?

How fast time creeps up on you. You think you have enough time to finish something, to just cruise through at a relaxing pace, when suddenly snow comes and rushes you through. Kind of reminds me of fourth year. In fourth year, you think you have time to relax and cruise through the year. You think you can have possibly one of the most chill/ fun years, but then you realize you have grad applications to fill out, references to find, job applications, and so many other things to do and the months just past by. Before you know it, graduation is at hand, and you have no idea what you're doing or where you're going. You dread the real world/grad school. You dread all the worries that will come along with that future. Nobody really likes change.

But when it comes, everything will be fine. Trust that God will take you exactly where He wants you to be. You'll look back from that point to what you know as one of the best years of your life ( hopefully :P).

death day four, i want no more

2008-10-21T02:03:00.008-04:00

OMG. It's over. For now. Funny how I don't count Micro as something to worry about... yet.

This midterm period I must say, has been probably one of the more stressful testing periods in my university career. Either that, or I'm so weak that I need more than 7 hrs of sleep for my eyes and brain to be functional. What happened to the good old days when I could stay up till 5 am and still manage to wake up at 9 am without too much difficulty? It's interesting how our bodies can change so fast after a couple years of bad maintenance. But here I am, half falling asleep, still wanting to finish this post.

Here's a list of things that happened/I realized this past week.

I like the company of people
I love rice krispies
I hate coffee
I hate how coffee keeps me up till 10 am when I want to sleep at 1
I don't like going into exams that turn out different than expected
I like going into exams that turn out easier than expected
I don't like exams with only 30 questions worth 40% of your mark
I love music theory
I love exams that are easily seen over the person in front of you, diagonal to you and beside you.
I love exam tables where your shoulder is touching the person next to you
I don't like cramming but I do it anyway
I don't like procrastinating but I do it anyway
I don't like to study the day of the exam
I don't like to stress the day of the exam
I love How I Met Your Mother
I love studying at coffee shops
I love DS parties at the library
I like it when people look at you funny when you're having a DS party in the library
I like grade 9 applied math
I wish I could study as much as I did in high school
I don't like how I cannot study in my room
I love people talks
I miss first year
I miss the old grads
I want to get to know the first years
I want time
I want to be artsy
I hate computer viruses
I don't like missing important classes
I prefer not to go to anymore environmental chemistry classes, it's not important
I like big tables, but I can't study
I don't like cubicles, but I study
I like two hour naps in cubicles
I love 10 hour nights
I love 3 hour afternoon naps
I think sleeping is the most productive procrastination tool
I love how this week is over and that I'm still alive
I don't like how I have another exam in 10 days
I love how my roomies are coming to sleep with me this weekend
I love how long this list turned out to be

Wow, a lot more happened than I realized. I was going to number the list, but I figured I would have to make a list to a specific number, and really I'm too lazy.

The last thing I wanted to share, or for my own artistic benefit, my awesome poem dedicated to my death days (exam days)

Five Days of Death
Death day one, here I come.
Death day two, i loathe you.
Death day three, almost free.
Death day four, i want no more.
Death day five, i'm still alive!

Thank you. *insert applause here. You know you loved my awesome poem. kaka :) Can't wait to be done so I can play on my birthday. Almost there!

And so, to everyone who still has exams: Good luck. I made it through, you can too! :)

my doppelganger

2008-10-08T01:01:00.003-04:00

Everyone meet my long lost twin. Either that or now I'm entering Chinese singing competitions. What do you think? Is that me? or not me?

eyeballing

2008-10-06T22:35:00.001-04:00

fun game

You just eyeball what where you think the correct place for the marker is and see how close you are! Sounds simple, but really isn't.

exam season

2008-10-06T15:42:00.003-04:00

I've posted a lot since I got back to school. Why? Obviously, it's because it's exam season and blogging = semi-productive procrastination :) I guess blogging is also a stress reliever. So bear with the excessive postings for the next while.

P.S. you should blog too, so I can put "reading interesting blogs" on my list of procrastination tools.

strength will rise

2008-10-06T15:14:00.004-04:00

I've been needing strength lately to deal with some issues and I didn't know what to do so I gave it up to God. To which, He replied with a "wait". "Seriously, what do I do?" was what I said back immediately.

"Be still and know that I am God" Psalms 46:10

"But God, I'm in a situation right now and I need to know what to do, I can't just wait and do nothing. " I couldn't understand why He couldn't make it clear to me exactly what I had to do. I just wanted the answer right then and there, and even though I knew 'wait' was one, I couldn't accept it. How often are we put in that kind of situation, where we don't know what to do, we ask God, but we don't even have the patience to wait for His answer. We try to fix it with our own hands, with our own reasoning hoping that what we are doing/did was right.

So the next day, at service, we sang Everlasting God.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
As we wait upon the Lord
As we wait upon the Lord.

HAHA. As if God thought I didn't hear Him, He repeats it three times per chorus. Oh God, you're so funny. So I stopped worrying, and I waited. And guess what, God gave me strength. PTL.

blog me ever so gently

2008-10-06T14:52:00.008-04:00

/written september, but posted on myspace. transfer inspired by new blogging friend who hates myspace :) note: some editing included//

On the internet there are way too many different sites to blog from: myspace, livejournal, xanga, aa (hahahaha), blogger, even facebook... etc. So how do you choose which one to get? Which site is the lucky site that you choose to write your life story in, the one you choose to splurge and rant about the daily goings of your life? How about all of them? :P

Each one has their own advantage, their own special features that may attract you more than the others. For myself, I've never had a livejournal before so I can't say anything about that, but I've had quite a blogging adventure in my short short life.

Blogging platform: AA
It all started with AA (asianavenue, that is). It was all the craze in probably grade 7? It was very exclusive, but of course there were still many non-asians on it. The problem was that if you were a non-asian, you'd get laughed at. 'Who do you think you are, you're not yellow!' My non-asian friends would only get it as a joke and never update. AA slowed down after awhile and everyone started leaving it to go to blogger.
Advantages: learn to html
Disadvantages: only asians were on, but I guess I did live in Scarborough so it didn't really matter :P

Blogging platform: Blogger
My favourite. I think it's mainly because I am a Google whore and Google owns Blogger. It's just that it's so easy to access everything like gmail, the weather, daily jokes, the olympic stats, piano keyboard, this day in history.... actually I'm advertising iGoogle now... but Blogger is #1 on my list, even before google bought it out. It's an open page where you can visit even if you don't have an account, you can still post comments and everything else too. The URL is nice too. http://yourname.blogspot.com. I don't know why, but '/' always annoyed me. But like a baby chick always following the crowd, I moved on to xanga after.
Advantages: easy to post, easy to edit templates, very simple design, public access, less stalkable, autosaves!
Disadvantages: not stalkable, you need to know the url, or else you probably can't find it. unless you're linked on other peoples pages...

Blogging platform: Xanga
I only used this mainly to start a new slate as it was near the end of high school, a chapter in my romantic love life and it was going to be the beginning of university. It wasn't too bad, but it just was annoying how you had to sign up in order to see people's profiles or to comment, it was a little exclusive again, so it got annoying. I got lazy and I stepped out of the blogging world for a bit after that... until I went back to Blogger :)
Advantages: easy stalkage (footprints tell you who's been on your site), everyone had it (at the time), emoticons were just being introduced.
Disadvantages: exclusive, stalking is traceable :P, need to have an account to fully access the blogs, no autosave, at least when I had it, I'd accidently hit back and lose my whole post.

Blogging platform: Facebook
LOL. is what I have to say. Facebook is the ultimate stalking machine if you know how to use it well, seriously, if you're going to post on facebook, you mind as well give your number out to everyone in the world because that's what it feels like. When you put out too much information out on facebook, it's like laying your life out to the public (even moreso than bloggin about your daily life). Too many people in the world have facebook and it's so easy to randomly find you. But of course there are those people who do post on facebook, and I love them for it. Keeps me up to date with juicy gossip. The wall conversations help too. haha.
Advantages: ultimate stalkage of... everyone, everyone has it, great to keep in touch with people you never see, great to keep in touch with people you've just met, they use real names!
Disadvantages: everyone sees you, blogging in it just seems a little too much for me.

Blogging platform: And so finally, myspace.
For blogging, myspace sucks balls. It's not like anyone's going to read it anyway. I think it'd be better if they displayed the whole post on the main page, but then it gets messy and hard to read. They say myspace is just a popularity contest, so there really is no depth and thought put on anyone's page. But who am I to say I have like 5 real friends on my friends list. Canada doesn't use myspace so what's its advantage to me? But of course, there's a reason why I got it. The music profiles. So many indie bands and just bands/people you like to listen to have myspace pages and put up their songs. Great way to listen to people without buying/downloading their cd.
Advantages: music, discovering new bands/discovering new songs by older ones
Disadvantages: so few people I know have it. who really blogs on it? its a popularity contest. those stupid captcha codes you have to enter EVERYTIME you want to do something

Final verdict: Blogger (obviously :P)
I've been at blogger once, and I am back again.
So just for funsies:
aa... deleted my account haha. (junior high to grade 10)
blogger me part one (mid high school to near end [includes switz trip])
xanga me (end of high school, first year, trip to the homeland, second year)
blogger me part two [you're already here] (end of third year to now)

enjoy :) (don't judge... especially the high school blog grammar. haha makes me laugh everytime)

p.s. you can find the links on the side bar too if you never noticed it was there

Just a thought...

2008-10-06T14:34:00.004-04:00

A thought came up during bible study on Friday night.

We're always switching around our priorities at different points in our lives. Some things move up the list, some move down, some just get completely taken off the list.

What is on your priorities list?
School? Money? Gf/Bf? Family? Where does God fit in on this list?

Actually, God shouldn't even be on your list. If He's on your list, it means He can move up and down and in between things that shouldn't matter as much. God is on TOP of EVERYTHING. He isn't your number 1, He should be your everything.

Good in theory, but now to put that into practice. It's always hardest to do, don't you think?

definitely sucks to be him

2008-10-04T03:01:00.002-04:00

HAHA. So I read another article the other day (I can't find it anymore), and it tied in really well with the last sucks to be him post I wrote a couple days back.

So in this case, a man is suing a doctor for sewing up his... anus. So in this case, this man had a rectal tumour and the doctor took it out and sewed him back together. At first, the guy couldn't defecate due to the swelling from the operation, but would be fine later, but I guess that never happened. Now, the man is saying that besides sewing just the laceration, he sewed up the hole. Sadly enough, he lived through for 50 something days after. Now, a couple years later, he decides he needs to take the doctor to court because to this day, he still discharges crap as liquid out of his butt 15-16 times daily... involuntarily.

Definitely a lot of questions behind this case seeing that it's an OLD case. Seriously, wouldn't you have noticed sooner if you were the guy? Wouldn't you have thought to sue sooner? Maybe he made up the whole sewing up his anus crap, I mean who could prove it now? The stitches are all dissolved by now. But seriously, how could you live 50 someodd days without defecating and not even question the doctor?! oh stupid stupid man.

But now it's been a couple years, and he's still crapping like a baby and he probably will till the end of time. Even if he wins, all he'll get is money to pay for the man diapers he's going to be using for the rest of his life. Definitely sucks to be him.

memory tap

2008-10-03T11:54:00.003-04:00

So I have a lot of vivid dreams if you did not notice, but not all my dreams have a storyline that I remember. Sometimes I just remember bits and pieces of it which is annoying since I KNOW that there is a reason a dreamed up to explain what I do remember.

So two nights ago I dreamed that there were four reasons why you should die.

You were Venezuela
You were Argentina (something about borders)
You had too much make up on
You had.... something I forget

Because of reason 3 and unknown reason 4, two of friends died, and my dream wasn't too happy. I don't understand the first 2 reasons, but if I remembered my whole dream I could tell you. It's been bothering me a bit since I know that if I knew the whole thing, this dream would've been pretty darn amazing.

bsb returns!

2008-09-30T23:38:00.003-04:00

warning: beware of extreme teeny bopper girliness and bad grammar aka high school blog grammar

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. BACKSTREET BOYS IN LONDON!

So I went to their AMAZING concert in Toronto during the summer, but I didn't post about it :P. Not because it wasn't awesome, but just because, well in summer, I'm sure you knew, I didn't really post at all. But if you couldn't tell already, I LOVED it. It was so nostalgic to hear all the old songs again, all the classics that everyone still always sing to :) And Nick, oh so sexy oh so yummy!!!! They had so many closeups to his face and the girls all screamed the loudest when it was him on the screen. I'm not complaining, because he lost so much weight and now is uber sexylicious... mmm.... Of course, next in line was Brian... he was my favourite from the beginning, just because he was the best singer of the whole group. Without him, BSB wouldn't make it as far. AJ could have been sexy, but then he grew out his beard.. and looked like a lumberjack ... so uhh. no comment. And then there's Howie, poor poor Howie, he never really had a big fanbase and he always got the least vocal parts in all the songs. When he came out to sing his solo song, everybody started sitting down and didn't listen. Poor dude.

The concert was amazing and all the fans were all so into it, but it still wasn't the best it could've been, because they were missing one. Their dancing and singing was lacking something, they were lacking the five men configuration and the deep rumbling bass. They were missing Kevin. The concert would've been perfect if Kevin was there too, but oh well. It was still AWESOMMEEEE.

One of my favourite moments was when they first got on stage in their boxer outfits (sexy) and sang Larger than Life. There was so much energy on stage and everybody was so into it. And then when you think that that's it, Nick pulls out some Kanye Stronger.... OMG. haha.. TEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE . WHEEEEE.

So what prompted me to post? well the first line said it already.. BACKSTREET BOYS ARE COMING TO LONDON! that is right! London, Ontario!! I want to go soooo bad, but really it's the exact same concert, and I have to go home that weekend. BUT still. SO exciting they're coming to such a small-ish town like this. :) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

BUT if you're in town, you should definitely go!! November 8 @ John Labatt centre :) Or if you're not in London, you should check out all their extra tour dates. hehe

WHEEEE I LOVE BSB!!

//*end immaturity :P

warioland!

2008-09-26T13:15:00.003-04:00

Nintendo just amazes me all the time.

Click here to see an ad that will blow you away!

It's ingenious. I applaud them for being able to think up something like this. So good.

sucks to be him

2008-09-25T15:11:00.002-04:00

So what would you do if you went into surgery for a circumcision and came out with no penis? Poor guy. The doctor claimed he had cancer and just cut it off right away without any permission. I don't know what the equivalent would be for a girl, but I know it still sucks. How about going in for a full bikini wax and coming out with your vagina sewed up? Err.. doesn't equate haha

I wonder what's going to happen after this, the doctor probably did save his life if he really did have cancer, but it's still so wrong. Even if he did sue, how much would it cost to save his manhood? Can you even put a price to it?

But all in all, I think we'll all agree, sucks to be him.

here's the article

breast milk is for babies

2008-09-25T01:29:00.002-04:00

So I was on Digg and I came across a disturbing article. (click)

It's basically a plea from PETA to Ben and Jerry's to stop using milk from cows and to start substituting it with... HUMAN BREAST MILK. Yes. This is what they want.

I understand that to produce the milk we consume it takes a lot of overworked cows. I mean, house 16 probably overwork 10 cows a week. haha. But that's what they were bred for no matter how harsh it sounds. It makes sense if PETA wants to protest against fur, or even against the slaughtering of animals for meat, or the conditions milking cows and egg-laying hens have to endure, but to get a large ice cream company to use humans as a milking machine is just a little too much. Well I guess the milk does still end up with the kids. harhar. Would people really buy ice cream that's been made from human breast milk? Think about how much crap could be in that milk.

To get the milk, they would pay mothers to become milking machines and pay them, I presume, by the litre. What kind of mother would be so desperate to sell her milk like that? No normal woman would. But would a drug addict who got knocked up do it? Probably. There would be so many advantages.

Sell it for drug money.
Breast-feeding = bigger boobs
drink your own milk when you're thirsty

Okay fine, the third one is probably not a good reason, but reason number one is good enough. And well, if she did sell her milk, what kind of milk would it be? You'd start seeing little kids running around high with ice cream cones in their hands. Fun.

Cows were meant to be eaten, even back in the Bible times. God created the food chain, and I think we should follow it. It cows are getting overworked... get more cows. It can't be that hard. So instead of save the cows, I say, SAVE THE KIDS!

Eventually there'll be a new group against PETA called PETH. People for the Ethical Treatment of HUMANS. Human breast milk is for HUMAN babies. I would never touch another woman's breast milk even if my life depended on it... well I guess if I was stranded in the middle of the desert with no water at all and only a nursing mother beside me. But that'd be the only time. Besides, human breast milk is sour... and it comes in such small amounts at a time, I swear it can't be efficient. Sure that Swiss restaurant is doing it. But if they told you to jump off a bridge would you do it too? At least when you milk a cow you don't kill them. Milk comes naturally from a mother cow and it was meant to be drunk by all, baby calves AND humans.

Something on my mind...
PETA members don't eat meat, but have they thought about the poor plants they've been stuffing down their throats? Think about the poor vegetables getting yanked out of the ground with no mercy. How do you know a plant has no soul? Has no feelings? You just assume they don't just because they don't move and present scientific evidence show no signs of life. But aren't we all made of cells? Cells have feelings and they can't be destroyed like that. You monsters!!

Haha you can put so many things out of context.

So yes. If you come across any petition from PETA about ice cream. SAY NO. It's really for your own good. Breast milk is for babies.

how to speak japanese without saying a word

2008-09-25T00:50:00.002-04:00

haha. So awesome because it's pretty true. To fully communicate you just need to know ONE word.

Sodesuka.

That's it. That one word can get you anywhere.

examples

'I'm going to the zoo' 'sodesuka?' (Oh really?! [up inflection])
'My cat died yesterday' 'sodesuka...' (I see [in a sad down tone])
'He's dating her best friend!' 'sodesuka!?' (Seriously!?)
'I like to eat sandwiches' 'sodesuka.' (Ah, I see)

It really works I promise. Whenever I'm in a conversation and I don't understand a single word the other person is saying. Sodesuka works everytime. Trust me. My friend and I have tested it out, multiple times. It keeps the conversation going and it makes you sound like a really good listener. (That's bonus points if you're trying to get a girl :P)

So combine the first two lessons + sodesuka and you're on your way to Japan!!

stop, this is the police

2008-09-23T23:53:00.007-04:00

As the daughter of the chief of police, it is my duty to keep track of all the criminal records that come in each day and to sort them according to separate threat levels. For example, muggings and verbal assault would be lower risk crimes, but crimes such as terrorism or espionage are pretty much at the top of the list.

So as you know, I went to a cruise a while back and I still kept in contact with some of them, just emailing back and forth the daily goings of our lives, never expecting to actually see each other in person ever again. However, surprisingly enough, the cruise company planned an event where everybody could come together and reunite with all the friends that we made and had not seen since the cruise. I was ecstatic, I emailed everyone in excitement, we would see each other again soon.

A week before the reunion, I was at my job, sifting through the criminals once again, until my hands stopped in shock as I stared at the face of the high risk, the face of James. What?! "Wanted for espionage on international waters for Target, very dangerous." How could that be? James was so nice and we had been talking for awhile already, I can't believe he could hide a secret like that. But what was in front of me was the truth and I didn't know what to do. I pretended to not see it and immediately emailed Wes with my dilemma.

He told me not to worry and to pretend that I knew nothing of it. As long as I didn't mention to anyone else this situation, no one would question me. I couldn't hurt my own friend right? I agreed with Wes and tried to block James' wanted picture out of my head. Meanwhile I still emailed him pretending that nothing was wrong. What else could I do?

The only problem with this was the cruise reunion coming up. How could I face him? What was I supposed to do when all I could think about was his mugshot in his profile? I blocked it out of my mind until the day of the reunion.

On the day of the reunion, I walk into the auditorium looking around for people I recognized. Luckily enough, right in front of me was Wes. I run up to him and give him a hug, excited to see him. (point A) Just behind him was everyone else, Mel, Nicole, Darlene, Tyrone and Irv. I give them all hugs as we chat it up a bit, just catching up on what we had been up to lately. We were all happily talking when in the corner of my eye I spot him walking into the auditorium (point B).

At that point everyone else sees him too and they all rush to him as I stay behind contemplating what to do next. Suddenly my phone rings. It was my dad on the other line.

"how are you honey? how's the reunion coming along? I'm just at work right now, working on these dangerous cases. I wish I was with you but it's my duty to uphold the law no matter what. Hope you're having fun, I'll see you at home"

Crap. Feelings of guilt overwhelm me. It was also my duty to uphold the law no matter what. I knew what I had to do. I march over to the group with a determined look on my face. Wes sees me and knows exactly what was going to happen. I watch him whisper into James' ear, I watch as James' expression turns from a wide grin to a scrunched up frown. I speed up when suddenly Wes pushes James and yells "JUST RUN!!"

They break for the stage door and I chase after them only to realize that I wouldn't be able to find them in the dark. I figured they would head for the car so I double back to the front entrance and out to the bridge in front of the parking lot. It was the only way out. I wait for them at the bridge getting ready to stop them with my life.

I see the small lime green Volkswagen Rabbit speeding up towards me, not slowing down at all. Knowing that they wouldn't stop for anything, I jump onto the windshield, grabbing on the edge of the hood holding on for my life.

"Stop the car! stop!" I yell, as he turns on the windshield wipers on me. I refuse to let go. "Just give yourself up! I can help you!"

Screaming back he replies " I can't do that! You don't understand what my company will do to me, just let me go! please!" As he says it, he tries to accelerate, but my feet dig into the pavement and slow his car down. " This isn't going to help you! just give in peacefully!"

"NO!! I won't give in!"

In the car Wes is also frantically yelling "Let go Victoria! You don't have to do this!"

"It's my duty! I can't NOT do this! Just stop the car James! it's no use to run!"

The screaming continues but I can't hold on any longer and I feel my hands starting to slip until from behind me I hear:
"Stop, this is police!"

It was my dad. He knew what had been happening all along. It turns out that the dangerous case he had been working on was this one. "You're completely surrounded, come out and put your hands up where I can see them."

Admitting defeat, James comes out of the car with his hands up. He lets the police officers lead him to the car. He turns around to look at me and Wes and gives us a sad nod. I can't help but hang my head down feeling guilty about what I had just done to my friend.

As he turns back to the police cruiser, I feel a reassuring arm around my shoulders. It was Wes. "We tried, but there was nothing we could have done. " I nod, with my head still down and tears streaming down my face.

__________

Here's a diagram of the rundown of the night:
The purple line is me and the blue line is route James and Wes took to try to get away.

from: September 9, 2008

dreamer's notes:
Yes, this dream was quite dramatic. Underlying themes of friendship and loyalty, feelings of euphoria and depression. It's probably more dramatic in my head, but I hope you enjoyed it. There were still scenes after this one, but they aren't clear in my mind and were slightly unrelated. :) It was nice to see everyone again, if only just in my dreams.

cheers!

I love this picture :P

lame joke of the day

2008-09-23T22:46:00.001-04:00

What's the difference between a Porsche and a hedgehog?

...

A hedgehog has its pricks on the outside.

HAHAHAHA

omg heroes

2008-09-23T22:01:00.002-04:00

Basically, the title sums it up. This is definitely going to be an exciting season. I must admit, there's probably going to be a lot more blood and gore and those who are faint at heart probably should probably watch it with one hand over an eye. But, I mean, nowadays we see so much blood and gore that, you must agree, we're so immune to all of it already.

Side-note:
I never knew they called Hayden and Milo "Hay-lo". It was pretty funny when I found out yesterday. SO nerdy.

I digress. So many new characters, so much more character development in the old ones, so much more mystery and unpredictability. I think that's why I enjoy this show so much, the unpredictability. You think you know what's going to happen, but then a sudden twist makes you go "whoa!!" Ahhh. I can't wait to see Ando get/use his powers, so sexy. Dragon Ball Z anyone?

No spoilers here, just wanted to say how much I love Heroes and how I think everyone should watch it too. :)

i love my pet rock

2008-09-14T18:46:00.003-04:00

click to enlarge. Can't believe churches would actually do that. :P haha.

final run

2008-09-14T14:22:00.005-04:00

I just finished the first full week of my final year of undergrad and it feels so unreal. Everything that I do from here on in decides the fate of my future, whether it be academically, socially, even spiritually. Everything is so uncertain and everything is just hanging off the edge, swaying back and forth, teasing me, stressing me. There really is nothing I can really do right now except to give it all up to God.

Sometimes, God plays tricks on you, probably because He just knows you so well. He knows what will tick you off, what will make you happy, what will make you aware of His presence. He knows how to build your character in situations you wish you were never part of. Like from the movie, Evan Almighty, "God" says something that always sticks in my head. Yes, I am quoting a movie that is slightly blasphemous. :P

God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

The more you ask from God, the more He will give you, but it's never going to be easy. "God, help me rely on You more." That was and is my prayer, so I truly hope that that's what He's up to right now with everything that's happening. Even though, outwardly I scream "whhhyyyyyyyy?", inwardly, I have to keep cheering "Go, God, go! I rely on You. Mould me into who You want me to be." So hard, but that's life right? Jesus just went right? Abraham just obeyed. We may not know where we're headed but the Big Guy up there does.

So trust... yo. Peace out, gangstar :)

super nerd rap :)

2008-09-08T01:26:00.002-04:00

wow, she's my hero, I'd love to make a rap about something really nerdy, but all the ones I have made are just stupid. Next on the artistic list maybe?

w-ind!

2008-09-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

So I got a new baby a couple weeks ago, and I just wanted to show her off a little. Yes, she's a girl this time, it would be insulting to make her a boy from her outer appearance. Welcome to the world.

10" screen, running on XP, a netbook, too small to be considered a notebook, this is my baby, w-ind (no capital cuz it looks nicer that way)! Isn't she adorable?

So why did I name her w-ind! (pronounced weend! possibly with two fob signs surrounding it)? Well the netbook's name is actually MSI Wind notebook with the cover called Wind for Love and I'm sure you can see the connection there. However, as you know me, I AM creative, I would never name something just because of the manufacturer's given name. So, as you also know me, I am super fruity :) So I thought to myself, what would be an awesome name to give to my new baby that is so fruity that everyone will know that it's mine? Hmm.

The first thing that popped into my mind was this:

If you don't know who they are, they are a Japanese boy band by the name of W-inds. Seriously, what's fruitier than naming something after a boy band who looks like a girl band?

And so, w-ind was born. <3

old notes

2008-09-03T02:19:00.003-04:00

So I've been taking my time going through all the notes that I made last year and wow, I have a lot. Some were photocopied pages from textbooks, some were loose pages out of course packages, and some were pages of my endless writing. When I look and read them, probably only half of it still remains in my mind. I find that kind of depressing.

Within my notes are my intense study schedules, sometimes organized by week, by day, and sometimes even by hour. It lists all the things I have to cram into an allotted time so that I'd be able to finish studying everything thoroughly before my exams. Whether it was at home on the couch or in a little cubicle at Taylor, each cram session was specifically "taylor"-ed (haha) to the need at the time. During those sessions, massive amounts of information would be hauled into my brain only to be regurgitated out within a week onto a piece of scantron paper that would determine the outcome of your future.

All those notes, all those schedules, all hold memories and a lot of sweat, so what am I supposed to do with them? You can't just throw them away.

Well, if you're a regular here, or you've read my earlier posts, I am a hoarder for all things of memory. :) Pens, e-mails, letters, drawings, old notes, old study schedules, I've got them all, or at least most of them. I may not look back at them for a couple years, but one day I will, and if I've thrown away something I knew I had, I will be disappointed. And so, all my old notes have been organized and put away into my hallway closet, sitting there patiently for the day I decide to reminisce of my stressful past.

What do you with your old notes?

a cruise does not equate to rest

2008-09-01T14:51:00.004-04:00

I just came back from a cruise just last night, and I am looking for some much needed rest. Normally, you'd think that if you were on a cruise, you'd be lying in the sun 24/7 just sleeping your worries away, but no. It's true that I didn't do much during the day, but sitting in the sun is really more draining than I expected. I think, as a natural spectator, watching others play basketball and soccer, non stop, in the sweltering heat, climbing rock walls, surfing on the flowrider is tiring enough for me :) I know some of you are thinking, well that's boring, just watching people do things, why don't you go out and do things too? Actually, if you're asking me, you probably don't know me too well. :P My natural athletic abilities allow me to spectate anything with great enjoyment.

But, it wasn't the days that tired me out, but the nights. The awesome and amazing nights. Seven nights of dancing, "drinking", and pure fun conversations. I can't believe I actually lasted that long.

My post pauses here as I need to pack for London, but I will be back, I promise.

____//edit

wow, I read Chris' comment and then reread my post and it actually does sound very stressful. It was tiring, but it definitely wasn't stressful. I had so much fun everyday, but having fun does take a toll on your body, sleeping in the wee hours of the night, only to wake up to excursions and long shopping trips on land with mommy and small group and co. that last the whole day, only to stay up again the next night. Kind of reminds me of first year.

By the end of the trip, I had a sore throat, my body ached and I was dead tired, but really it was all worth it :) The people I met and the times we spent together, I will always remember. At least this cruise, the people were good/neutral influences on my life, rather than the kids I met on the last cruise. Though I probably won't see the people I met anymore, these seven days were unforgettable. I was definitely dreading this cruise for the longest time, but what came out of it was so much more fun than I imagined. (shh. don't tell that to my mom :P).

Now I'm back in London resting for a couple days, getting ready for probably the most intense studying year of my life. sigh...

boys rule, girls drool

2008-08-15T20:58:00.003-04:00

I'll admit it boys, being a girl does suck, but only once a month.

gah

2008-08-14T14:04:00.001-04:00

I don't know how you UT students do it living at home. I think I'd kill myself.

annoying

2008-08-14T01:49:00.002-04:00

I really do enjoy intelligent debate sometimes. You get to learn a lot of new things you never knew, maybe change the way you see certain things. However, the keyword is intelligent debate. There are some people in this world who argue just for the sake of arguing and seriously, it's friggin' annoying. No, not just annoying, but friggin' annoying. I agree, some diversity in thought, some new ideas, new perspectives is always good, however, you don't need to argue every single point another person makes.

Signs that you have failed an argument:
1. you start yelling to a point that the restaurant looks at you
2. people have heard your point more than twice already.
3. you bring up irrelevant arguements i.e. religion when the topic has nothing to do with it
4. the other party does not understand what you're saying
5. you do not move the other party's stand on the subject, not one bit.
6. nobody is listening to you.

All conversation should have direction, if only just a comical view on something random i.e. what superpowers would you want to have. Everyone's opinion is important, but we don't need to hear a contradicting argument every single time. One day, you'll get shot, and no one will question why.

The Brick Testament

2008-08-12T12:32:00.004-04:00

I just came back from DMBC summer conference and it was a relaxing yet stressful experience. I loved it. It allowed me to challenge my walk with God, and to learn/bond more with new and old people. Having girl talks till 4:30 am, euchre in the early morning hours, food eating contests, softball with a bunch of friends. I lurve.

During the sermon, Tim Tang (the speaker) showed us an awesome retelling of the story that was being preached on, by Lego pieces. :)

The Brick Testament

So good, they have so many stories illustrated by lego, though not fully biblically correct, but very entertaining nonetheless.

blinded by love

2008-08-12T11:45:00.003-04:00

Yes, I know I haven't been keeping up at all. It has been pretty tiring/eventful these past couple of weeks and I don't know how I'm ever to catch up.

Camp has definitely opened my eyes to new things, about kids, about parents, and about me. It has given me a bigger perspective on parenthood and the qualities I require to be a good parent in the future.

Watching the kids interact, I still debate in my head whether the personality of a child is really nature or nurture. Some kids have the nicest parents, most soft spoken, and yet, their child is CRAZY. Some kids have siblings who are very well behaved. You take a look at them and you know that the parents have raised them well. However, the younger sibling is like the first case, CRAZY. Why does this happen? What makes the older sibling different from the younger sibling? If the parents could raise the older one to be so polite and obedient, what happened to the love for the younger one?

Why is it that parents can turn a blind eye, no, a blind face to their children. Is this what true love really does to the better of us? Can they not see what is blatantly laid out in front of them? Fine, say you really don't see it yourself, what if half the world is also telling you that there is a problem? Do you believe them? or do you keep raising your child under rose-coloured glasses? Why do parents never admit that something is wrong with their child? Do you really think people will judge you if they find out your kid has ADHD? No.

It's so frustrating dealing with the parents who think like this. If you accept what is laid out in front of you and you deal accordingly to the problem, it will save so much hassle and heartbreak at the end. Like a bandaid, it hurts the least to rip it off really fast. The problems that come out of a parent's denial, not only affects the parents, the kids, but also everyone else who deals with the kids. As a caregiver to the children, you are kind when you need to be and strict when you need to be. But what effect does being strict have on children who are never scolded at home?

It just kills me to see kids who could've been good if only their parents weren't so blinded by their love.

It's the same as being blinded by romantic love. Why is it that when we like someone, we choose only to see the good side of them, ignoring all warning signs and friends' advice? But, children, that is for another day.

P.S. andrewchow.com is BACK!

Happy birthday ROOMIE!

2008-07-14T23:59:00.005-04:00

Yes, this is the last minute, but I had to do it before the day was over :)

I hope that God will bless you immensely this year, through all the change that's happening, and will happen. ;) I hope that you will have the best year of your life (because you're living with me haha) full of adventures in life, in school, in boys ;)

batting artist

2008-07-10T00:04:00.004-04:00

There are many different things that challenge me. People who talk slow, making steak, mom with menopause (haha). But basically, there are two big things in which I am challenged: athletically and artistically.

It's interesting though. During this summer, both things, in which I suck most at, are just flailing their arms in front of me, begging me to let them into my life.

First off, there's the joy of softball. Even though I can't run, can't throw, can't catch, can't bat, my life and heart is completely immersed in The Way. I watch others run, throw, catch and bat, hoping that maybe, just once, I would be able to do them too. You know when you get that feeling that "this time, this time, I am going to be amazing (or at least decent), I promise I will blow them away." Except, obviously, it never happens. It's still the beginning of the season, so who really knows what will happen, but don't expect too much sport out of me anytime soon. Nonetheless, I love softball, watching it, helping coach it, just gives me such great joy to be part of such an awesome team. :)

Secondly, it's my overwhelming desire to do something artsy. About a week ago, I bought a DIY sewing kit in hopes of learning how to sew. Since the kit included everything + instructions, I thought I'd be able to accomplish it in no time. Except when I opened the box, the instructions just confused me 10 times more than regular sewing ever had. A couple days ago, I was walking around when I came across canvases for painting, I pictured myself painting something amazing and was so tempted to buy them. Thank goodness my mom was there too, and refused to let me get it. Untouched paints would have probably cost me a lot. Just a little while ago, I was thinking about what book to start reading, but then I thought more and more about writing a book. Wouldn't it be amazing to publish your own book? But with my limited commitment level to writing and my immense imagination, I just decided to blog it instead.

I don't understand why these thoughts are going through my head so much recently as these things aren't really what usually pass through my mind on a regular basis. Maybe it's about time to get in touch with my artistic and athletic side of my life. It's not all just about academics right?

P.S. do you have any suggestions about what book to start reading?

happy birthday DW :)

2008-07-04T11:17:00.002-04:00

May God bless you tremendously this year, in life, in school, in girls. ;)

lazy

2008-07-02T22:20:00.002-04:00

I recently realized that I have so many things to say, but I am just too lazy to write. How often have you wanted to do something consistently, to make something routine, but fail miserably. I'd say this blog might be it. I really should start up my routines again. Maybe blog a bit more, read a bit more, network a bit more. But then again it's summer. When camp starts up, I'll be more productive, I promise.

On a side note, I just finished Sailor Moon live action drama. It is AMAZING. If you were ever a fan of Sailor Moon back in the day, watch it on crunchyroll! :) It's got the awesome corniness of normal japanese girls transforming into Sailor soldiers with brightly coloured wigs, but still has all the love drama between Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask and the conflict drama between the soldiers. Oh, how I heart. If you're ever down, just watch a random episode of it, reminisce about your childhood, and get lost in the world of Sailor Moon. Mmm <3

puzzle pieces

2008-06-17T00:38:00.003-04:00

Puzzles. I love making puzzles, I love solving puzzles, I love puzzles.

Puzzles make you think, they make your brain move (or at least allow the neurons to send greater amounts of action potential towards their ends to release more acetylcholine to stimulate the receptors of the adjacent neuron :)). I think the joy of the puzzle does not come in the completion of it, but the whole thought process and man power it takes to attempt to reach its final product or answer. Of course, the final product is always rewarding, but the longer it takes to solve, the more satisfaction you will have in the end.

Life is full of puzzles. Every new thing that you learn is like a new piece to the puzzle that fits in perfectly with the previous ones. It keeps adding on everyday until, well, your life ends. Because many other people factor into your life, even when your life ends, the puzzle is still incomplete as it must add on to the puzzle pieces of all the bystanders in your life.

When we face situations, we do not know all sides of it, so we only obtain one piece of the puzzle. Nothing else fits with it, but you now it has to go somewhere, you know there is more to this lonely piece. Sometimes you may never be able to fill in those missing pieces and for some reason, they don't affect the puzzle. The pieces get replaced and memories of it are vague. However, on occasion, you learn something new about the situation no matter how long ago it was, and suddenly you get a new piece to fill in right beside your old one. In that instant, you get a glimpse of the bigger picture and everything is just a clearer.

This is why I love life. That moment, when everything becomes clearer, the moment pieces come together. The moment, you realize why something happened and why it happened that way. I don't think that when I search for these missing puzzle pieces that I'm being nosy, but just that I have this starving curiousity to know that which I do not. It may get me into trouble sometimes, but when I get to see pieces come together...I get this sense of satisfaction, a slight euphoric sensation that just makes me all tingly inside. It helps me to understand why people did what they did and why they reacted the way they reacted.

When you get that moment of clarity, it just feels so good.

*Victoria sits on her chair staring out the window with her hands on the keyboard, she tilts her head as a slight smile appears on her face* (PAHAHAHAHAHAHA for you Rachel :))

mirlando <3

2008-06-01T23:35:00.002-04:00

There are so many couples in Hollywood and I'm sure everyone has their favourite. They are mine. My two most favourite celebrities dating, how awesome is that? Though I can't find some really good pictures of them, here are some. Legolas and a Victoria Secret angel. Match made in heaven. :)

an ode to my mother <3

2008-05-11T08:51:00.000-04:00

Oh mother, you are the best,
No words in the vernacular can express
The things you do for me out of love
God definitely made you from up above.

When I’m happy in life,
You are always there with me
When I’m not that nice,
You still love and let me be.

When I’m sad,
You cheer me up
When I’m mad,
You let me sulk.

I love you lots, I hope you know
And I hope this poem will let me show
How much I love and appreciate you
For all the things you say and do!

So now I’d like to take this chance to say,
Have a very Happy Mother’s Day!

With love, Victoria

materialism

2008-05-02T22:24:00.004-04:00

Why is it that when you buy things, you always become a little happier? Whether it's new clothes, new gadgets, new toys, there is always a small sense of pride when you look at purchase. Obviously, this feeling doesn't stay for too long, and then your eyes go a-wandering once again in search of new material prizes of satisfaction.

Our world now has definitely fallen into the deadly grasps of that which is known as materialism. It's sad to see it rule the lives of the younger generation nowadays. Hollister, iPods, UGGS (gross), and overpriced, brand-named, cheap material clothing have overcome our society and have completely changed the value of our quality in life. But really, who's counting. You like what is pretty and what is popular and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as it doesn't consume your life by placing itself on the top of your priorities list.

And so, I love to shop :) and the best place to shop is in the states. And thus, I shall share with you my shopping adventures. Don't judge haha. I haven't shopped all year that I've been in school, maybe a shirt here or there. and don't worry, just know that I bought everything for a good deal :)

forever21
pink t.green t.hot pink shorts.brown shorts.gray shorts.white/gray striped t.blue shirt dress.blue/brown/white bag.black tights
aeropostale
sunglasses.green guy hooded shirt
victoria's secret
5 undies for $25 :)
marshall's
elephant hoodie ^_^
burlington coat factory
white dress shirt.striped vest.orange short sleeve shirt
charlotte russe
long teal t.white cute shirt
rue 21
jeans
gap
brown sandals
windsor
white/black polka dot dress
fushcia/black dress
target :) (do not underestimate this store)
black heels with a bow.pink beach shoes.brown flip flops.pink flats.plaid shorts.6 pairs of pink socks
mac
liquidlast eyeliner.technakohl liner.studiofix foundation.liquid concealer
papaya
black belt.jeans.teal top
fry's electronics
pink headphones
_______
total for 4 days: 46 items...

... :)

kekeke. I can't walk into another shopping mall, or I'll just keep on going like that energizer bunny. It's been so much fun spending time with my parents, going around and getting lost on the most confusing highways of Dallas.

Besides shopping, I've been eating delicious sushi and I visited the 6th floor museum, the museum dedicated to the assassination of the late President John F. Kennedy. I got a good history lesson, but seriously there is nothing else but that in downtown Dallas. Quite a disappointment. Oh well. Dallas has the most outlet mall space per square mile of land in all of USA. I guess that's all that really matters :) WHEEE!!

aLx forever

2008-04-26T15:45:00.002-04:00

Happy birthday to my favourite boy, Franky! :)

Do you know how awesome you are? Do you know how much better my life is with you in it? You're always there to encourage me, to make me laugh, even if you don't mean to :P.

Love you to death. I wish you the best 21st birthday ever ! <3

spice grrrrls - stop

2008-04-24T23:37:00.004-04:00

This is what makes us so awesome :)

ps. love my hula hooping skills?

//edit: yes, it's a karaoke place, but there was definitely no alcohol involved as it was 8:45 pm and happy hour was ending! :)

the end.

2008-04-23T16:47:00.002-04:00

Last night marked the end of my third year in university. Something about translating about answering questions and losing credit cards... in the same sentence. :S I'm so not taking Japanese next year. But I still believe, it was my favourite class these past two years. I am now self sufficient in the language, where I can communicate about basic things like school, restaurants, sight seeing, cooking, and... post offices... but very slowly. More anime and dramas I guess :) Must practice my poor listening skills though. My reading skills and writing skills are definitely better than my conversational skills.

But it is done. It's still quite unbelievable to me right now. I feel like I still need to go back to London for class next week, but really, I don't. Today marks the beginning of summer for me, and it's going to start off with a bang *cross fingers* I can't wait for all the fun things that come with summer, mainly... softball.

/softball tangent/ No matter how much I suck at softball, or sports in general, I still love it so much. It's not really about the game itself, but what it represents. The fun times together, throwing around, going out for dinners at pho 88, sleepovers, team spirit... and of course, the much needed, but probably not sufficient.. exercise. Love it, love it, love it. I have a feeling that God is going to work wonders on The Way this year, and I can't wait to be part of it :)
/end tangent/

But this year has been quite a blessing. To be living with such awesome roommates at Summit was definitely my highlight(s) of my year. It's so amazing to find people you are so compatible with and with whom you can completely be yourself ;) I seriously don't know what I'm going to do without you girls next year. Not to say my new ones won't be amazing, but I'm going to miss you girls so much. All the memories we've had in that house: cooking feasts, birthdays, pilates ;), Gilmore girls, "monkey" business, and many more that cannot be disclosed to the public (have to keep this blog PG13, you know :P). But I thank God so much for bringing you girls into my life. Bridesmaids anyone? haha. Love you girls to death.

ACF once again was a great memory. Though I probably wasn't as involved as I meant to be this year, I still feel like I've learned a whole lot from you all. Being a small group leader definitely opened my eyes to the vast greatness of God's grace and mercy. haha. This year, I learned, and am still learning to give it all up to God and to let Him guide my decisions in all aspects of my life, whether it may be about school, the future, or relationships, it's really is, in the end, all up to Him. No matter how hard we work, He's still God. No matter how much we think we want something, He's still God. Even if we have the crappiest marks, if He wants us there, He'll take us there. He's amazing like that. Through this year, I've had many ups and downs, but the love of God through ACF has definitely brought me to the end and I want to thank everyone of you that have supported me and encouraged me, knowingly and unknowingly. God is good.

School was... brutal this year. haha. I have never seen such low marks in my life. Seriously. I once thought my lowest mark in my whole life would be Grade 9 gym, but I was proven wrong. :P. This revealed two things about me, that I guess I probably knew anyway: (1) I suck at sports (that's a given :P) and (2) I suck at business. haha. Oh man. I am fully relying on God to show me where He wants me to go, because my average is steadily falling since first year. I believe that as long as I work hard, God's going to lead. Trusting Him, may be hard... but now there is no choice. :P Still praying that I make it back in Honours spec Physiology again this year. If I don't... I am.. screwed. Nothing I can do now, but pray. haha.

But now, it is over and I am so happy. It's time to find a job and to party it up :) Toodles!

bob

2008-04-13T13:59:00.005-04:00

You never know how much you love someone until you lose them.

Never have truer words been spoken.

I didn't see you for almost a week, and I did not know what to do. I didn't want to be sad, but I just couldn't help it. I knew you probably would've come back to me eventually, but I didn't have my hopes up. You just left without saying anything. I was sad in the beginning, but eventually as the days rolled on, I started getting mad. You didn't deserve my anger, but I just couldn't get rid of the feeling of losing you.

Everyday, I would look for you, hoping that I could eat lunch with you, eat dinner with you, maybe even breakfast if I woke up in time. But when I tried looking for you, I couldn't find you. Nobody knew where you were. How could you abandon me like that?

We have spent so many happy days together. I remember when I first found you, I loved you already, but I didn't know to what extent I would love you later on. During first year, we spent so many late nights together, laughing with friends, eating cereal, instant noodles and KD at 4 am in the morning. During second year, you were the best to eat my KD and udon noodles with. Without you, I don't know how I would've made it through. This year was pretty amazing too, until I lost you. My whole world came crashing down.

Bob, you can't even fathom how much I love you. I didn't know I loved you that much, but when you came back, I couldn't help but tell everyone around how happy I was. I am ecstatic that you have come back to me, I am going to try my hardest to make sure that it never happens again.

I love you Bob, my favourite bowl in the whole wide world.

chris rice

2008-04-07T23:20:00.006-04:00

cute song :) When did you fall in love with me. I've been listening to Chris Rice's songs recently. I must say I really like him. He's got a good mix of worship songs and of cute love songs. My favourite. It's like the best of both worlds.

and it's luke and lorelai, just because I've been on a Gilmore Girls spree for the whole semester :P

Chris Rice - When Did You Fall
From the album Amusing

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at it’s joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

Chorus:
When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right there before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise

Chorus:

Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?

___________________________

this is a cute song too :) called lemonade

So go ahead and ask her
For happy ever after
'Cause nobody knows what?s coming
So why not take a chance on loving
Come on, pour the glass and tempt me
Either half-full or half-empty
'Cause if it all comes down to flavor
The glass is tipping in my favor

Life gave me lemonade and I can?t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I'm a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!

Now take your time to answer me
For the beauty of romancing
Is to calm your trembling hand with mine
While begging love to fill your eyes
I can hardly breathe while waiting
To find out what your heart is saying
And as we're swirling in this flavor
The world is tilting in our favor

Life gave me lemonade and I can?t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I'm a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!

I've got it made
Rest in the shade
And hold my love
While God above
Stirs wiith a spoon
We share the moon
Smile at the bees
More sugar please
He really loves us after all
We're gonna need another straw!
We're gonna need another straw!

Life gave me lemonade and I can?t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I?m a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!

motivation

2008-04-07T22:30:00.002-04:00

So I haven't been REALLY updating for awhile, and it's not because I don't want to. I seem to have lost much motivation that once once within me. The motivation that drove me to do things, the motivation that edged me along in my life, in my walk.

I have about 4 posts that are half written and under my drafts folder. I read them, and I want to finish them, but I don't. But I guess that's just me being lazy. haha. Not that important anyway.

Usually people say that, to be motivated is to have a goal in mind and to strive for the goal. The completion and satisfaction of attaining your goal is what drives you go through the whole process in the first place. But what confuses me is that many people these days, all have goals, all have dreams that they want to achieve. Maybe a lawyer, a doctor, a pharmacist, a physiotherapist. They've done the first step right. However, what gets them to the final step? How come people still are not motivated to accomplish their goal. The things they do, the things they don't, all don't help them to reach the destination.

So if motivation is not the result of having a goal, then where does motivation stir from?

My theme of this year says this: "I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me" - Phil. 3:12b

I want to press on, but why do I keep falling back into sin? I have my goal, but where is my motivation to get there. Dang, I hate Satan. But I can do anything through Him who gives me strength, right? And so, I'll have to trust God that He'll take me through all of this step by step, even when I fall. Even when I don't have the motivation to keep pressing on through all the temptations, I trust that God will bring me back to Him and give me a heart that will constantly seek Him with all my heart and mind and strength.

What about school? I don't know.

"So whether you eat or drink of whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" - 1 Cor. 10:31

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" - Col. 3:23

To glorify God is to work at it with all your heart. To work at it with all your heart is to do your ultimate best. To do your ultimate best is to... study. As a student, we must glorify God by doing what we were called to do as students. Study. Hopefully that is enough motivation to keep you going. When in doubt, pray. It's slowed down a lot this examination period and I don't know why. But I'm going to keep praying for me and all of you and I ask that you pray for me too. :)

This is where my motivation comes from as a Christian. Where does your motivation come from?

好眼淚坏眼淚

2008-03-31T22:23:00.003-04:00

Mmm. This was song from Corner with Love from awhile back.. For some reason, this song wasn't in the soundtrack for the drama and I could never find it. It's the cutest song ever :) Hope you like it as much as I do!

好眼淚坏眼淚
Vivian Hsu

我曾認真深愛著一個人
他給我幸福的可能
我等我問未來何時發生
他只是給我一個吻

快樂我哭是因為你的手
曾答應帶我向前走
難過我哭是因為我的手
找不到你說的以后

好眼淚坏眼淚我都曾為你流
感動和悲傷都是理由只
不過在你不再愛我了以后
剩坏的眼淚慢慢流

快樂我哭是因為我付出
得到你溫柔的答覆
難過我哭是因為我任性
你的心永遠留不住

好眼淚坏眼淚我都曾為你流
感動和悲傷都是理由
只希望在我不再想你了之后
有好的眼淚慢慢流

好眼淚坏眼淚我都曾為你流
感動和悲傷都是理由
只希望在我不再想你了之后
有好的眼淚慢慢流
有好的笑容陪著我

my beating heart

2008-03-28T00:05:00.004-04:00

So cute. It has some special technology that synchs your heart with itself and continually beats as you hug it. It gives you comfort as you sleep on this soft pillow that someone is beside you. Good for long distance relationships or even bouts of singleness. :)

check out the site here

an upgrade for your heart <3

2008-03-26T01:55:00.002-04:00

I think I got this in an email back when I was in Jr. high. I was going through my old files and thought this was really cute. :)
__________________________

An Upgrade for your Heart

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over My HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

LET US PRAY: Lord, teach us to love ourselves and others as you love us. AMEN!

are you mine?

2008-03-24T19:52:00.002-04:00

I was volunteering last week Wednesday and there was a band called the Eastsiders who performed for all the seniors. At first, I thought that they were going to be a band in their 40s or 50s who love to play old songs, but turns out they were in their 70s and 80s and possibly even 90s. Way too cute :) The violinist was definitely the oldest. He was so clueless to what was going on and he had no strength when he spoke and even when he played the violin. His fingers would press on the right strings with amazing agility, but his bow hand could not keep up. It was really amazing to see him up there playing.

But really what struck me the most was the couple who was singing. They have been married for 60 some-odd years and they're still together and so in love. They sang this song called 'Are you mine?" as a duet. SO cute.

Are you mine all life through will you kiss me when I'm blue
Will you whisper I love you and make all my dreams come true
Will you share the good and bad bring me joy when I am sad
Tell me darling are you mine and only mine

Are you mine (yes I am) all the time (yes I am)
Mine alone (yes sirree) all my own (all your own)
No one else will ever do I'll be yours and I'll be true
Don't worry dear have no fear cause I'm yours

Are you mine tell me dear will I always have you near
Will the love light always shine in your heart just like in mine
Will you give as well as take keep the vows that you will make
Tell me darling are you mine and only mine

Are you mine (yes I am) all the time (oh yes I am)
Mine alone (you're only one) all my own (absolutely)
No one else will ever do I'll be yours and I'll be true
Don't worry dear have no fear cause I'm yours

Are you mine rich or poor tell me darling are you sure
Will you whisper yes I do and forever love me true
Will you honor and obey will you promise not to stray
Tell me darling are you mine and only mine

Are you mine (yes I am)...
Don't worry dear have no fear cause I'm yours

This is going to be sung at my wedding. I don't care what you say about it Tiff! haha I love it.

growing up

2008-03-20T23:25:00.004-04:00

Sometimes when I think about the past, to when I was in elementary school and high school, I wonder how much I have matured during these years. When you contemplate on your own past, you can't really tell, until you've read your own past blog posts.

I've been procrastinating like crazy recently seeing as finals are coming up and I've been reading other people's old blogs. It's pretty interesting to read how these people were like when they were young, before I met them. Everyone's story is so different, everyone writes about different things, on their xanga, their aa, on their blogspot.

I was just reading my own blog and this is what I found:

so i guess, now we have a unpaid book in our house, and well you gotta take
advantage of it. it's a book with 4 novels in it. one of them was called P.S. I love you, by the 22-year-old daughter of the prime minister of ireland.. and that caught my eye. so i read it. it's the sweetest book ever. about how this woman's husbands dies and how she copes and how he helps her cope by writing her little msgs in an envelope for her to open every month. it is so cute! he makes her go karoake, buy a new outfit, get a new job and he even prebooks/buys a vacation to spain for her and her best friends! it's sooo adorable! i give it 2 thumbs up!

HAHA. Who knew I've read the book before, I definitely still have no recollection of what really happens in the story since I haven't watched the movie yet, but I find this pretty funny. Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why you blog. You think your memory is good, but in reality, it's the little things you forget. Everyone can remember the big things that happen to them, but the little things, the little things that shape your thinking, the little things that change your view on the world, the little things that make you who you are. Those are the things that we often forget and store in our long term memory, only to be retrieved at random.

When we think of blogs and journals, we sometimes think of it as a waste of time and energy. I mean, we could be doing better things out there than to write about the daily happenings in our life. This is true. But actually, its those who DO write aimlessly about everything, interesting or not, who have the best memories. When they are bored, they can go back and look at all the stupid things they've written and reminisce in full picture and colour. When you look back, your memories at the back of brain will be triggered and you'll be able to remember all the little things that made/ruined your day and remember exactly how it all felt.

You'll remember exactly how you felt when a stupid boy in your class slammed the back of your chair down and made you fall to floor dragging your desk on top of you. You'll remember the time when you first fell in love with a boy and then realize how retarded you both were :). You'll remember the time when you got a free drink from your French teacher at the bar because you bravely walked around the chalet with 2 loofas in your shirt. ;)

I guess this also goes for MSN/ICQ chat logs, really. I know some of you don't save your history, but it's HILARIOUS when you go back to the good ol' days and read some of them. You'll note the way u tlk hehe n wUt rAnDOm tiNGs u cAN cuM uP w/ 2 tlk abt w/ other ppl....hehe sooo j/ks j/ks.

So really, there was no point to this post. It was just something I noticed while reading old blogs. We've all grown so much and we're going to grow even more. But even as we get older, we shouldn't ever forget the little things, the little joys and pains in our lives that have made us who we are today. So people, get BLOGGIN'! ... or get journallin', just do something to put your memories into a hard copy. (If you vlog, PLEASE don't post it up on youtube. That's stupid. haha)

I guess you'll do...

2008-03-19T23:39:00.000-04:00

To sum up life nowadays. It's so sad, but so true.

Sounds about right to you?

Just in case.

2008-03-19T01:37:00.001-04:00

Just in case I forget, I'm posting it on my blog.

South Park Season 12 premiere on March 28, 2008 on Comedy network at 9 pm. :)

KEN LEEEEE!

2008-03-13T01:45:00.001-04:00

HAHAHA SO AWESOMEEE... If you don't know what song this is.. it's Mariah Carey: (Can't Live) Without you

Birthday wishes :)

2008-03-09T16:14:00.004-04:00

Can you believe how old you are? All those times we spent together pretending we were in far off places in our imagination. All those memories we made together just the two of us. Remember when we would go hang out with our friends driving around in your car? Oh how I love those times. You would tell all these jokes and do these things that would make everyone laugh. I remember that time when we stayed up really late at night talking, just you and me. I loved every moment of it. And I miss it so much.

When I look back, all I can remember are the good times, all the times when we would just spend hours on end in each others company. Too bad we can't do this anymore. I miss you. But we can just never be together again. I need to grow up and I don't think that you can help me do that. I hope that your future will be bright even though you are facing some problems right now. I can't help you, but I'm sure some other cute girl can.

But don't you worry, I'll never forget all the amazing times we have had. I'll never forget the way you let me take off all your clothes, all the time. I don't think you should mind, your body was perfect the way it was. I loved how you were so flexible! You don't need to get any bigger, really. A part of me will always be with you.

Today is your day and I hope you have an awesome day. I wish you the best of luck this coming year. I hope you'll be able to make another girl as happy as you made me. I'll always love you.

Happy 49th Birthday Barbie :) Have a great one.

__________________________________________

Happy Birthday Barbie doll... I couldn't find a picture of my Gymnastics Barbie, or at least I'm pretty sure it's Gymnastics barbie, because she had a body suit and bendable legs and all. You could put her in every position! :P

edit: I found a picture! but it's an antique now so they copyrighted the image and I can't copy it! So I had to print screen. Supposedly she's pretty limited because only 1500 of this model were made and I had one of them! Right now, she's worth $65, but maybe lots more later? Too bad I left it at my old house :( Oh well. She was still awesome :)

night of debauchery

2008-02-23T22:47:00.007-05:00

de·bauch·er·y [di-baw-chuh-ree] [dɪˈbɔtʃəri]

1.excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures; intemperance.
2.seduction from duty, allegiance, or virtue.

I was thinking of random words that people would describe their night out and I thought of the word debauchery. I've never really read the exact definition of the word before, and it seems to slightly amuse me. As I was reading it, I realized that this word could accurately describe what our world has become in this day and age. Makes it kind of sad doesn't it?

For many people at the club last night, it was a night of debauchery, but for me, it was quite an awesome night :) Of course, some experiences should be forgotten, some should be remembered for awhile at least and some should be remembered forever. Ah. I love you Amy :D hehe. We NEED to do this again :)

The four of us:

me and my loverlie :)

:D cheers to a night never to be forgotten... unless the lack of of sleep killed those specific memory cells. But I'm sure they didn't :) If I had a things I love list, this would definitely be on it:

Late night/early morning talks with a cherished friend about life and love.

P.S. In person is so much better than on msn and facebook FOR SURE.

Love ya!

RING

2008-02-18T23:49:00.004-05:00

Scientists are really smart. They've figured out how cells reproduce. They've found out what specific proteins transcribe DNA. They've sequenced the human genome. They've sequenced an individual's genome. They've figured out that Ras, when activated by GTP will activate a mitogen-activated protein (MAP) 3 kinase or Raf by phosphorylating it. The active Ras in turn will phosphorylate a MAP 2 kinase (MEK) which will phosphorylate a MAPK (ERK) on both serine and tyrosin residues. ERK will then translocate to the nucleus and phosphorylate the transcription factor ELK after dimerizing. Really, scientists are really smart.

But they're not very creative.

For example, RING. It sounds like it could be some crazy complicated gene like retinal inotrophic neurotransmitting globule gene. I don't know. But no. What it really stands for is:

Really Interesting New Gene.

Seriously. Here's an article taken from the Chemistry and Industry Journal, November 2001:

One of the most interesting genes to raise its hairy head out of the genomial soup is called the Ring gene. It appears to help in helping cells prepare themselves for cold weather. Enquiries about its full name -- after all it's useful to know its proper name and possibly its telephone number with winter fast approaching -- reveals that Ring is only an acronym; it stands for Really Interesting New Gene. Bit of a comedown really. Not many of its characteristics shine through that description, and as for interesting, it really depends on your standards. Compared with President Bush, yes. Meryl Streep? And anyway what about boring old genes? Should they be called BOGs?

Scientists, to the world actually look really cool, in their white lab coats and their jargon that nobody by themselves will understand. Think about how much knowledge is in their heads. But maybe that knowledge has used up all their neurons in their brain and has left none for creativity. What would happen if they found another gene that was even more interesting than this one? What would they call it then? EMITTLGG? Even More Interesting Than The Last Gene Gene? Who knows?

I guess as long as everyone outside the scientific world do not understand what all the acronyms really stand for, they're still cool, if only just a little.

worrywart

2008-02-15T17:45:00.003-05:00

Have you ever felt like you worry too much about the future? Maybe about school? or even about what you're going to to eat the next day? I know you do, some more than others :P haha.

So today, I was studying anatomy in a cubicle on LG in Taylor and worrying away about how I was going to memorize the muscles, joints, arteries and veins of the body. Fun times I tell you. But anyway, many people procrastinate studying by writing on the wooden panels of the cubicle, so being the awesome procrastinator that I am, I started reading them. Some were weird, like "How many people have you killed at western? (Be honest!)" or in chinese "Ho moon ar!" or telling you to stop reading "Stop reading this wooden panel and start studying!" (definitely should've listened to that haha). But there was one I liked:

"Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but you don't get anywhere."

And so, people, you shouldn't worry so much! It wastes time and you get extra stressed (which leads to an increase in cortisol and catecholamines and food intake which can lead to obesity! haha. Yay for physiology labs) But yea, trust that God will take you where He wants you to go. But that doesn't mean you can just sit there, or do other things and expect Him to just take you there and give you the marks. STUDY, people. God's got a plan, but you've got to work for it too. I should get studying haha. 30 minutes till dinner time and then ACF!

re: ~magibon~!

2008-02-14T19:37:00.006-05:00

I think I've got it down. I know it's not as long as hers, but hey, I'm a beginner! It actually takes a lot of effort to look "cute" and silent for so long haha. and yes, I'm procrastinating. haha. and I need a new webcam. Anyone with a super kind heart? :P

whee! I'm magibon! hahahahahahahahaha

Happy Single Awareness Day! <3

2008-02-14T00:24:00.004-05:00

For all the ladies who are single, some eye candy for you (and yes, I know they may look girly, but who do you think I am? hahaha)

ikuta toma

nagase tomoya

mmm. yummy.

happy v-day everyone.

~Magibon~

2008-02-13T18:38:00.002-05:00

ummm. According to the youtube view counter, this video has been watched by 1,268,852 people so far since the day it was added on January 24, 2008. The question is... why? I have to admit she's really cute, but really, why so many silent videos? We don't need to see how long you can look cute, we know you already are. You don't need so many videos to show it either. haha. If she talked, maybe it'd be a different story.

umm. maybe. haha. I love how much time she has. She looks so young and cute, but her boobs are so big! haha. Premature development? But yea, anyway, she's from the States somewhere and some Japanese interent company saw her and loved her and gave her a free ticket to Japan. haha. It blows my mind. 42 videos. Oh, Magibon.

* snow *

2008-02-13T01:51:00.003-05:00

It has been snowing so much tonight. It kind of makes me want to go out and play since the weather's warmer now. When the snow's new and untouched, it's so beautiful, especially on the trees and when you look up UC hill. When the snowflakes are so big that when they hand on you, they don't melt and make you look like a walking snowman. God's pretty amazing, eh? Every single snowflake a different shape, just like our fingerprints. Do you think He counts them all too? I mean if He knows the number of hairs on my head, why wouldn't He know how many snowflakes fall in a single snow fall?

"Well, let's see, today, I'm going to send down... 8 943 854 309 248 390 243 289 032 snowflakes but tomorrow, I'm only going to send down 5 489 023 482 390 428 304 923."

If only I didn't have tests, lab presentations, solo performances and midterms to prepare for. If only I had all my snow gear, or all of Phil's snow gear :)

Let's do this again soontime :)

Mukodono 2003

2008-02-12T14:18:00.001-05:00

I just finished another Japanese drama called Mukodono 2003. If you haven't watched it, I very much recommend this drama.

It's about an idol, Yuichiro Sakuraba, who is voted the sexiest man alive. He's got the looks, the voice, the money and all the popularity he could ever want. But, in reality, he's a completely different person, geeky glasses and pastel coloured sweatsuits and heart that's just so big. He's so innocent and naive and believes that as long as he smiles, everything will be ok.

Don't forget to smile whatever happens, as long as you keep smiling, you
can make friends with everyone. Everyone will like you too. That
way, you'll share the same feelings. Everyone will acknowledge and support
you. As long as you keep smiling, many people will be willing to support
you.

Those were the last words his mom gave him before she left him when he was a kid and he continued to live by it hoping that she would come back for him one day.

It's got the comedy, the drama, the romance, the laughs and the tears.

I LUF <3

Here's the intro of the show:

and here's a link to a clip of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfgPOzxerR4

The little girl has leukemia and has caught pneumonia too. She's convinced that there's no reason to continue living in this world. Oh Yuichiro <3

long-awaited update

2008-02-12T01:34:00.001-05:00

and once again, I quickly abandon my blog becuase I'm just that lazy. I'll get back to my retreat post soon. I've also been reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and I must say that it's really making me think some more. But once again, I'll talk about that later HAHA. so much substance in my posts eh?

But you know why you come to my blog? Not for me, but for my awesome dreams :) Or maybe, that's just what I use my blog for so that I can remember them. I've had quite a bit recently and I don't know why. Some have been very frustrating, freaky, aggravating, annoying, extremely sad, angry, and some just plain weird.

Here's a summary of my past couple dreams:

Dream 1

Core decides to throw me a birthday party and everyone's invited including ACI, ACF and The Way people. It's a pretty nice place quite chic and there's a huge area to mingle. Decor has an orangey tiny and tables and chairs with intricate metal backings. There's also stairs that lead up to the second floor. So the night goes on and everyone's having a blast.

But all good things must come to an end right? Being my birthday and all, it's time for good bye hugs and thank yous. I'm hugging everyone one by one but when I get to this guy (K in this case :P), he won't let me hug him from below, because you know, it's a "more-than-friends" hug.... but see the thing is K is TALL. Well, tall enough that it's way to high for me to go above. So he's dodging my hugs and refusing to let me hug him like that since his girlfriend was there too. But of course, I refuse to let him be, so I dive in for the hug :P. K gets very angry, which makes me very angry, because seriously, it's just a hug. I think to myself, whatever, next person, L. SAME THING. Seriously, what's with these guys?!

Now I'm really angry and I just storm out of the place and get into my car (Yes, I had my own car :)). I drive off in a fit and I'm going as fast as I can. But since it was winter, it was slippery and I started to skid right into the middle of the intersection. The thing was, the police was right across the street breaking up a house party. I was soo freaked and just kept turning left. Thank God, they didn't catch me. I drove carefully all the way home.

When I reached "home", I opened the door, and realized that I was on the second floor of the restaurant. I lived on top of the restaurant! haha. Of course, you never question, so I started getting ready for bed still angry. But just then the door bell rings and I go down to answer it. Standing right there is... Phil's grandma... with her lugguage.

"Uhhh.. hello por por"
"[translated from chinese] I heard K made you really angry and that you're living alone, so I wanted to make sure you were okay. If you don't mind, I'll live with you downstairs for awhile and I'll take care of you"
"O...kay"

And so, she moved in. And lived with me.

I had this dream on Monday, February 4, 2008... weird...

_______________________________________

and well I guess this wasn't a summary and this was actually my full dream. But that's just because I was on a typing roll. The next will be just summaries because I need to sleep haha.

_______________________________________

Dream 2

This one was sad. I don't want to explain in detail. But basically I was dating L and we broke up. And then a "couple months" later, we had a second more final break up since he was moving away. There was a lot of hugging and "I still care for you"s which made it even worse. As we said our final good byes, I woke up... so depressed

_______________________________

Dream 3

This dream included steam engines, ACF, The Way, rich men inviting us all to stay at his mansion, yummy italian food. In the dream, during dinner, I fall asleep and someone takes my plate away. I wake up starving for food, but realize my plate is gone and I go on a screaming anger frenzy. I yell at people at my table, then I go to the kitchen and find Tim :P and start yelling at him for the longest time, even swearing at him. The host pulls me aside and I start yelling at him about the whole situation. He then calms me down and writes in my agenda an appointment with him the next day at 12 pm to talk about my problems. haha. I'm fine after that, but I see people like L and B across the table mocking me, and then the anger just rises again and I yell and yell some more. So very very angry.

I woke up angry of course, but I went back to bed for a continuation.

Dream 3b

Co-ed showers. HAHA. Let your imagination run. :)

Just joking, everyone was dressed, but the guys would stay in front of the showers to wait for girls and hope that they were only wearing a bikini or something because there were also no stalls. D, Sam and Jer were 3 of them haha. Pervs. But as I was going in with tank top and shorts and this little grade 8 boy was hootin' and hollerin' at me and, that definitely did not make me very happy. I chase him around the shower and end up pinning him up against a stall door. I hold him up in a choke hold (yes, I was angry) and start yelling at him.

"Do you parents teach you anything? Have they ever hit you? Don't you know how to respect others? Respect your elders....RAWR RAWR RAWR"

That's when other people started to rush towards us and tried to calm me down. I reluctantly put him down and let him run away.

______________________________

I don't know why I've been so angry in my dreams. I don't think I'm angry/annoyed at anything right now in real life. But just that when I wake up in the morning, I feel to aggravated and I don't feel like waking up or going to school. Why so angry dreams?

______________________________

Dream 4

My favourite dream yet. I need to sleep, but key words of this dream are: hot weather, silver cavalier (with a honda key), "gokon" (group blind date, speed dating ish), Welch's fruit gummies and ...GHB. :) Make up your own story... until next time. kaka.

The love of Christ

2008-01-28T00:05:00.000-05:00

May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Ephesians 3:19

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

These two verses spoke to me like BAM! during the retreat. God's love and grace are really just plain amazing. I'd go more into them, but it's past 12 and I'm dying with fatigue. Just wanted to write them down first. Wait for my next post, or just an updated one of this one.

a funny

2008-01-28T00:04:00.000-05:00

So we were on the bus from Green Tea going home today when Sarge takes out his glasses and puts them on. I thought that they were a little small for his head so I told him and this is how he replied.

"No, I friggin' like look like an intellectual!"

haha.

I think he may only just like, you know, like, look it :P hahaha JOKING

love as our parents love?!

2008-01-21T00:07:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Isn't it easy to like someone when they're always in a good mood when you see them, if they're really interesting to talk to, if they're really pretty or cute, if they're always cheerful and nice to everyone all the time? I mean who doesn't like someone like that? But what about the other times? when you're sick and grumpy, when you haven't had enough sleep and annoyed at everything you see, when you have no makeup on and your face is full of pimples, when you feel like crap and you want to throw a temper tantrum. Where do the people go? What happens when your principles clash, when your annoying habits start to show, when you realize you deal with things differently? Where are the people who say they love you now?

It's amazing how families stick together. Parents deal with so much crap from the kids, and vice versa. I'm surprised they even love them anymore nowadays. They yell and scream for independence and they still have face to turn around ask their parents for money and the car before they leave slamming the door behind them. Sure parents lay out restrictions and rules for the kids, but they ARE the parents and they DO have the authority to (within reason, that is).

So really? How do they stand it all? I guess they love their children just that much. Possibly even too much sometimes. Too much to let them run all over them. It doesn't matter what they do to hurt them, they still love them no matter what happens. (Kind of like the relationship between God and man I guess. But I'm sure God's love for us is like a GOOGOL* times more than anything else in this world. :P)

When someone loves you enough, they won't care about ANY your faults and love you anyway. They'll put you first in their lives but still be independent enough to run their own lives so that you will have a better one. Are we to find ourselves a significant other who loves us as much as or even more than our parents? I think it'd be nice :)

Mac MacGuff: In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.
Juno MacGuff: I sort of already have.
Mac MacGuff: Well, of course! You're old D-A-D! You know I'll always be there to love and support you no matter what kind of pickle you're in... Obviously

my theme for the year

2008-01-14T15:55:00.000-05:00

I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Phillipians 3:12b-14

I hope that through the year, I'll be able to live out this verse to the fullest. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. Though throughout last year, I went through so much, I cannot allow it to shape my future. My marks must go up. My time must be better managed. I must work harder this year and not let unnecessary things worry me. Through Him I can do it :)

GO GO GO!